A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner.
Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is,
but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The dad said, “Well it’s what Mommy calls me sometimes.”
The little girl screamed to her brother, “Don’t eat it. Its an asshole!
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
I couldn’t get away with Halloween pranks ’cause [my parents] owned the health food store. So, it was so easy to bust me.
I was the only kid on the block egging houses with those big ‘ole brown eggs. Like, you didn’t have to be a detective to figure it out.
‘Oh, I wonder who Tofuttied my mailbox. Is it the same evil genius who filled my bird bath with Rice Dream?’
Continued…
Parental awareness can fall into three simple categories. These follow, with descriptions:
Ideally, you want to find yourself in the second category. As you consider child safety products, consider the reasonable chances of your child falling victim to the accident protected against. Ask both yourself and your children questions like:
As a rule, it may be better to be over-protective of your children, but you need to be aware that this attitude can also have long-term negative effects.
South Africa’s embattled President Jacob Zuma has resigned from his office with immediate effect, the BBC has reported.
The announcement was made in a televised address Zuma made to the nation on Wednesday evening.
Earlier, Zuma’s governing African National Congress (ANC) party told him to step down or face a vote of no confidence in parliament.
The 75-year-old has been under increasing pressure to give way to Deputy President Cyril Ramaphosa, the ANC’s new leader.
Zuma, who has been in power since 2009, faces numerous allegations of corruption.
A van has ploughed into pedestrians outside a Starbucks cafe in a busy public square in Shanghai, China, after catching fire.
At least eighteen people have been taken to hospital, three of them with serious injuries, authorities say.
The fire was caused by the driver, who was smoking a cigarette as he drove and lost control of the vehicle, Shanghai officials say.
The driver has no criminal record and is receiving treatment.
According to a statement posted on micro-blogging site Weibo by Shanghai’s public security bureau, he is suspected of illegally transporting dangerous substances.
Witnesses had earlier told local media that there were gas canisters inside the vehicle. The People’s Daily newspaper said the fire had now been put out.
The incident happened at about 09:00 (01:00 GMT), when the area would have been packed with shoppers and commuters.
Images circulating on social media, which could not immediately be confirmed, showed a minivan with flames inside on the pavement outside the cafe.
The cafe is on People’s Square at the far end of Shanghai’s busy Nanjing Street shopping district and above a major subway interchange.
Reporters at the scene said the site had been cleared up quickly, with a small police presence in place.
According to local news reports, there were six people in the vehicle.
As You embark On This New Chapter…
I Wish You And Yours God’s Abundant Blessings!
A selection of this week’s best photos of Africans and Africa.
Image copyrightAFPIn a dress made from seed pods, Miss Tanzania Lilian Ericaah Maraule prepares backstage to represent the best of her nation’s culture at The National Costume Show in Las Vegas on Saturday.
Image copyrightAFPOn the same day in Kenya, women from the Maasai ethnic group wear their costumes for a performance to promote peace and community cohesion in the Rift Valley region.
Image copyrightEPAThe focus of these young girls is on education, as they attend school with their chalkboards in Ivory Coast’s main city, Abidjan on Friday…
Image copyrightAFPElsewhere in the city, a weaver works on a loom…
Image copyrightAFPWhile visitors look at a display of cotton at an agriculture and animal resources exhibition. Ivory Coast is a leading cotton producer…
Image copyrightAFPRams from neighbouring Mali were also on show at the annual exhibition, which aims to improve farming methods and promote trade.
Image copyrightEPAOn Wednesday, a bicycle rider carries a wood rack full of bread on his head as he does deliveries in Egypt’s capital, Cairo.
Image copyrightREUTERSWorkers sew clothes at a textile factory in south Ethiopia’s Hawassa Industrial Park on Friday. The clothes are for some of the world’s leading fashion companies.
Image copyrightAFPIn Kenya’s capital Nairobi on Monday, a man holds a placard of President Uhuru Kenyatta after a court upheld his victory in last month’s highly divisive presidential election re-run, paving the way for him to be sworn in next week for a second term.
Image copyrightAFPIn Zimbabwe’s capital Harare on Saturday, women take selfies with soldiers to celebrate the military’s decision to put President Robert Mugabe, 93, under house arrest, and to demand his resignation…
Image copyrightAFPOn Tuesday, crowds gathered outside parliament to show support for MPs who had initiated impeachments proceedings against the 93-year-old ruler…
Image copyrightREUTERSWhen he resigned a short while later, celebrations broke out among Zimbabweans around the world, including in neighbouring South Africa where they burnt banners bearing his image…
Image copyrightREUTERSThe next day in Harare, this man carried a cuddly crocodile to welcome the next President, Emmerson Mnangagwa, who is nicknamed “the crocodile” because of his reputation for being politically cunning.
Image copyrightAFPIn Tunisia, the mood is very different on Tuesday, as mourners attend the funeral of fashion designer Azzedine Alaia, who died aged 77…
Image copyrightAFPTunisian President Beji Caid Essebsi was among the high-profile mourners who prayed for him as he was buried at cemetery in the capital, Tunis.
Image copyright EPAIn South Africa’s Cape Town on Saturday, a bee flies next to a lavender bush. Bee colonies are under stress following the American foulbrood disease outbreak in 2015, which killed about 40% of bees in the Western Cape region.
Images courtesy of AFP, EPA, PA and Reuters